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Celebrating The Generalized Mayhem That Is College Football
For A Fiftieth Of A Century


The Chaos Index, Week 3: Pacced Full Of Sadness

If the SEC is going to put two teams in the College Football Playoff, it’s going to need to have two Power 5 conference champions spend title season crying into their coffee. We already know the identity of one: the Mountain West, which, along with its Group of 5 bitch, the Pac-12, will not be playing in a bowl game of note this year. (This is particularly true since, with the Pac-12 champ playing in Pasadena on New Year’s, the Granddaddy Of Them All will not be a bowl game of note this season.)

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The Chaos Index, Week 2: It’s 2018 With A UT Chaser!

Ahh 2018, the Golden Era of College Football when the genius of Chip Kelly had returned to college football while the genius of Scott Frost had been elevated to major college football (sorry UCF), and the genius of Jim Harbaugh would finally be on display. Or not. Two weeks into the 2019 go-round, we’re pretty much back to where we were 12 months ago with one little add-on that’s catapulted past the rest of the trainwrecks currently deserving of our mockery, so let’s get to the mocking. Cool with you, Vol Nation?

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The Chaos Index, Week 1: It’s Humiliation Time!

The magic of Week One is that it’s that special time of the season when somebody is humiliated badly. Really badly. Like so badly that it’s time to consider putting DIckRod in charge of your program. So, who do you think is this year’s version of Michigan playing Appalachian State? Your choices are: Tennessee, the entire Pac-12 conference, Tennessee, UConn, Tennessee, UCLA, Tennessee, the Helton family, or…Tennessee!

Do you get the impression 2019 is going to be a bad season for second-year coaches?

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The Chaos Index, Week 0: Uncle Urban Sez Welcome Back To 2011

Greetings intrepid college football fan! It feels pretty damn good to finally have our Saturdays totally booked with something more riveting than Aunt Ida’s Tupperware party, doesn’t it? Oh, and welcome to UrbanWatch 2019!

All season long, our Eyewitness News Crew will be updating the latest news regarding where the completely-retired-ain’t-no-way-he’s-a-comin’-back Urban Frank Meyer III will definitely not be coaching next year. Our Action News team will be following every piddling little hint that He is returning to The Game. NewsChopper 69 will be keeping an eye out for roadblocks that may prevent Him from saving your program. Our Extreme Doppler Radar will spot every storm cloud looming over your once-beloved coach.

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C’est La TV: College Football Is About To Change A Whole Lot More Than You Realize

If you’ve worked in media for a while, you’ve seen a boatload of what we lovingly call “consolidation” over the last couple decades. For those of us who’ve seen enough consolidation, what’s happening with college football looks awfully familiar, and we know what’s about to change.

Everything. Okay, not everything, but enough major changes are coming to make what’s already happened look like minor alterations in the landscape. Get ready to watch the entire structure of Division 1 college football go through a ginormous revamp, and there will be winners and losers aplenty.

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The Chaos Index, Final Regular Season: Let The Offseason Drama Begin!

Well, well, well, next season sure looks interesting already, doesn’t it? The offseason soap opera usually starts firing up right around National Signing Day – y’know, the normal one in February. Not this go-round. We haven’t even handed Tricky Nicky Satan a trophy yet, and we’re already well into the kind of chaos that makes Labor Day Weekend so much fun. In 2019, tune in to find out the answers to questions like: How long until new Liberty coach Hugh Freeze lets someone besides Jesus handle his junk?

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