Select Page

Celebrating The Generalized Mayhem That Is College Football
For A Fiftieth Of A Century


The Chaos Index, 2019 Final

So yeah, real life intervened in the form of moving vans and a bunch of other good, but frantic, stuff. There are still unopened boxes in the Captain’s new hizzouse, but for the tens of people who read this hot mess with something approaching regularity, here’s a final look back at the most messed up college football programs of 2019 that we didn’t have time to insult regularly during our regular proceedings.

read more

The Chaos Index, Week 5: Certified Genuises* – Mack Brown & Chip Kelly

*And yeah, we meant to spell it that way, so get off our backs, genuis!

Y’see, brilliance is underrated. Just ask Mack Brown, whose team was pretty much better than Clemson all day and decided to go for two when an extra point would have forced overtime, and then picked a gimmicky option play against a defense that’s as fast and well-coached as any in the game. Or you could ask Chip Kelly, who must have decided that the guy who had two 90+-yard scores last week needed a rest, since he sat him for the majority of the Bruins’ pratfall against a truly awful Arizona team.

read more

The Chaos Index, Week 4: Say Hello To The Not-So-New Normal

Okay, so we’ve now spent the last three weeks asking, “Are ya sure that this season isn’t just a rerun of last year?” Texas still appears to be back, but we’re not 100% sure that’s the case. Notre Dame still appears to be back, but they really aren’t. How the Harbaugh thing isn’t working out in Ann Arbor, we have no idea, but it isn’t. The Chip Kelly, Jeremy Pruitt, Willie Taggart, and Chad Morris things aren’t working out either. Finally, congrats Pac-12 on seeing your last best playoff hope sink slowly beneath the horizon. Yeah, we know, Wazzu. We crashed early, so yeah, they’re still unbeaten and a threat…right? Anyway, there’s always Cal. And that’s the funniest thing we’ll ever say. Ever.

read more

The Chaos Index, Week 3: Pacced Full Of Sadness

If the SEC is going to put two teams in the College Football Playoff, it’s going to need to have two Power 5 conference champions spend title season crying into their coffee. We already know the identity of one: the Mountain West, which, along with its Group of 5 bitch, the Pac-12, will not be playing in a bowl game of note this year. (This is particularly true since, with the Pac-12 champ playing in Pasadena on New Year’s, the Granddaddy Of Them All will not be a bowl game of note this season.)

read more

The Chaos Index, Week 2: It’s 2018 With A UT Chaser!

Ahh 2018, the Golden Era of College Football when the genius of Chip Kelly had returned to college football while the genius of Scott Frost had been elevated to major college football (sorry UCF), and the genius of Jim Harbaugh would finally be on display. Or not. Two weeks into the 2019 go-round, we’re pretty much back to where we were 12 months ago with one little add-on that’s catapulted past the rest of the trainwrecks currently deserving of our mockery, so let’s get to the mocking. Cool with you, Vol Nation?

read more