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Wow – as we head into the final week of September, so many seasons are so close to melting down that you have to wonder, who flips out first? Will it be the good people of Knox Vegas, who have been experiencing the ongoing torture of a streak that dates to the first season of the post-Zook era? Tigers fans – either from Baton Rouge, Auburn, or better still, both? Hotty and Toddy? Every fan in Los Angeles? The people of the former Southwest Conference, whose best football game is an SEC showdown?

There’s only one way to find out of course, so grab several beverages and get ready for more early-season carnage than we’ve seen in ages.

Florida @ Tennessee – We can’t imagine the HBC having anything interesting to say if the Gators make it 12 in a row. Nope. Nothing at all. And certainly nothing having to do with U not being able to spell twelve without the letter T.

Wisconsin @ Michigan State – So, whose marquee win do you think is more overrated: Wisconsin’s against an LSU team that hadn’t yet discovered the magic of Danny Etling or Sparty’s against a Notre Dame team that’s, well, Notre Dame? Considering that the Badgers almost bought it against Georgia Freaking State last week, it would be surprising to see them green with envy at day’s end.

Clemson @ Georgia Tech – What a huge deal, considering that Clemson hasn’t won at Georgia Tech in over a decade! You can just sense the tension, can’t you? Just kidding, you’ll be able to hit the sack by the middle of the third quarter this Thursday.

Georgia @ Ole Miss – The drama. The suspense. The variety. How will the Rebs blow a huge lead in a critical game between ranked teams this time? Find out when you tune into this week’s episode of CSI: Oxford.

Stanford @ UCLA – Remember when this was a trendy pick for Pac-12 Game Of The Year? Christian McCaffrey is a one-man chaos machine, and considering how well the Bruins haven’t handled the run the last couple years – and no, we’re not buying that BYU game – anything can happen, especially since key Bruins seem to be randomly disappearing and reappearing by the week. On the other hand, you kinda get the feeling that Jim Mora has been holding back for three weeks and has something funky up his sleeve.

LSU @ Auburn – Remember when this was a trendy pick for Chaos Game Of The Year? It still is. Maybe the losing coach should be tied to a burro and sent out of town. Actually, that might really happen, mightn’t it? Let the Tom Herman rumors begin!

Oklahoma State @ Baylor – It’s the Big 12 Game of the Week! The Big 12 is quickly becoming less and less interesting this year, isn’t it?

Arkansas @ Texas A&M – It’s the Southwest Conference Game of the Week! Ironically, Austin might hold the key to deciding who wins. The Aggies must love that thought.

USC @ Utah – Not that things are getting out of control for the Men Of Troy already, but they’re underdogs who are hoping that a quarterback change will breathe some life into a quickly-deteriorating season. If the Head Ball Coach were in Salt Lake City, he might observe that you can’t spell curious without USC.