Lookee here – we have a real schedule again! It’s almost like THE GREATEST OPENING WEEKEND EVER…only it’s a much better and deeper lineup featuring major powers doing battle, midmajor powers doing battle, and the ultimate D1 power doing battle in a game the oddsmakers won’t touch with a ten-foot bison.
Grab a couch, a cold beverage, and a couple gobs of meat and cheese, and let’s party!
Florida State @ Louisville – Yep, here’s your chance to start your Saturday football binge watching a bona fide Heisman Trophy contender facing his first big challenge of the year. Interestingly, the guy’s name isn’t Dalvin Cook.
North Dakota State @ Iowa – Well, this’ll be fascinating, won’t it? Sure, Iowa’s coming off their first CyHawk win in a few year, but this is a real step up in class for them, going from Iowa State to the five-time defending national champions. At least they’re at home. They’ll need all the help they can get. Seriously.
Ohio State @ Oklahoma – It’s Urban Meyer’s killing machine against Bob Stoops’ disappointment machine. Sure the game’s in Norman, and sure the Bucks haven’t faced serious opposition yet this year, but the Sooners are favored because…why?
Miami @ Appalachian State – Yeah, they make these schedules years in advance, so no one could have known that Mark Richt would be the new guy in town, trying to keep some early momentum rolling with his Canes. Awkward timing aside, who was the genius who thought it was a good idea to send The U to The Boone for a game that can only lead to bad things against a team that has a funny way of making bad things happen to big names?
San Diego State @ Northern Illinois – You know how it goes. You’ll be watching Bama and Ole Miss and then those in-game reports will start rolling in and you’ll realize this is a much better game. No doubt, you’ll keep watching Bama, but at least you’ll know to flip over to this one during annoying Buick commercials. Anyway, NIU’s 0-2 and SDSU’s on fire, but betcha this one’s way closer than that 11-point spread. Wait a sec. Drew Hare’s out? Never mind.
Alabama @ Ole Miss – Revenge is a dish best served with pigskin (and a mobile quarterback). On the other hand, Chad Kelly could definitely do another one of his “Look at me. I’m related to you-know-who!” acts. On the third hand, he could end up seeing ghosts again too.
Michigan State @ Notre Dame – Is this the year Sparty finally goes back to being the Sparty we knew and didn’t care about all those years? Considering the way the Irish showed against Texas, maybe not. Whatever happens, you will have the pleasure of hearing the words “Equanimeous St. Brown” several times, and that’s worth the price of admission all by itself.
USC @ Stanford – Which is the real USC: the one that got bludgeoned by Bama or the one that bludgeoned Utah State. We’ll all know the answer after Christian McCaffrey gets done bludgeoning them Saturday night.
Oregon @ Nebraska – Words you don’t hear too often unless Stanford is involved: Oregon Ducks, underdogs. Considering Mike Riley’s debut season, we’re not sure why you’re hearing them now, particularly since NU’s two opening blowouts were against the Mountain West’s sick cousins. (Never thought you’d hear that about Fresno State, didja?) Anyway, it’ll be interesting to see whether two great teams show up or two really mediocre teams show up, so it’s perfect if Bama-Ole Miss doesn’t turn into another Rebel Surprise.
Duke @ Northwestern – Remember when this was a matchup of two elite private schools with embarrassing football teams? Well, no need for nostalgia. It’s just the way you remember it!