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Once again, our Saturday combatants remind us that chaos can be good, bad, or wildly confusing. While you adjust your expectations for the coming month, look no further than our top six for evidence of all of the above as you prepare for a week in which the best game might actually be a showdown in…wait for it…the AAC. No, seriously…


  1. LSU, TCU, MSU, FSU – Yep, the dream is dead. All over. Just for laughs, take a long, slow glance over at that guy with the white LSU hat nailed to his skull. Why is he smiling so? His name is Lester, and he once made it from #7 to #2 during the last week of a BCS season…with a two-loss team. (Okay, so they were both losses in triple OT.) Sorry, Felony State – we forgot about the Georgia Tech game. Your dream is dead. Everybody else? Just keep on smiling…and eat a little grass. It might help with that case of indigestion you’ve got.
  1. Nebraska – See, Huskers, was that so hard? Actually, it was. If you’re going to get this being on the other end of the miracle comeback thing down right, you really need to score the game winner with no time left on the clock, not 17 seconds. Anyway, rest assured that losing to Purdue and then beating MSU means you’ve got this chaos thing down.
  1. Georgia – We hear the rumblings coming out of the Dawgosphere, Georgia, and we are here to tell you to simply look up at Nebraska before you bust a cap in Mark Richt. Hell, take a roadie to Hattiesburg and ask Southern Miss how firing the really good but not as great as you expect coach works out. Just back away from the firing line and take a deep breath. You’ll thank us later.
  1. Memphis – Speaking of dead dreams, you can really look at it one of two ways, guys: (1) your CFP dream, crazy as it was, is definitely dead, or (2) your coach is still quite alive and probably headed for someplace with a Brinks truck of cash to unload on him. One good thing: you’re in a big enough media market that we think that your status is going straight up anyway. (Lots more on that in the offseason.)
  1. Texas – Here’s the wacky twist that you never saw coming, Horns fan: what if Charlie dumps you before you can dump him? Hell, if we had an opening in the ACC right now, we’d be soiling ourselves with excitement at the chance to escort him to friendlier climes. It’s okay. You never really liked him anyway, and there’s a much cuter head coach just down the street in, say, College Station. (Not that that’s ever going to happen, but it’s funny to think about, isn’t it?)
  1. Arkansas – Woo pig! Y’all are dusting Nebraska in the win-crazy, lose-crazy department! How ’bout getting beat at home by Toledo while putting up half a hundred on the Landsharks – oh sure, only 45 of it was in regulation – plus 600 yards while surviving on those crazyass plays. Y’know what we expect against LSU? Absolutely nothing. We know better than to even try and guess what’s coming next.
  1. Arizona – Nice of DickRod to botch what would have been a sweet win for you on his way to Coral Gables, Blacksburg, Charlottesville, or wherever he’s headed next, doncha think? It must not be fun to realize you’re going to have to win your rivalry game or be done for the year on November 21st either.
  1. Vanderbilt/Florida – Y’all must be so proud ‘Dores, almost blowing up Florida’s homecoming and everything. Never mind that you had nine passing yards until the game’s last play. Oh, and Gators, don’t get too fired up about that game in Hotlanta. Given that LSU was never out of control of your game, you can imagine what the Tide will do to you.
  1. Toledo – IT’S OVER! THE WORLD HAS ENDED!!! Okay, so we feel for you, Rockets – some of the folks in your town are losing it over one tough loss. There’s still something to play for? Really? You mean that an 11-1 regular season is, ahem, acceptable to you? For anyone flipping out in Toledo right now, take a chill pill.
  1. Ole Miss – The expression “sick burn” comes to mind. Twice. No, thrice.
  1. Cal – We said it at the start of the year, and we’ll say it again now: stay off the Golden Bear hype train. (Though we admit that that Washington State win looks a lot better now than it did when it happened.) Imagine how much better things are going to be in Strawberry Canyon when Jared Goff turns pro.
  1. Boston College / UConn – Chip Kelly used to coach in New Hampshire, so we know that trying to bore the competition into submission is not a New England thing. You’re not killing college football, but you’re sure giving it the old, er, college try, aren’t you?
  1. Oregon State – Don’t take this the wrong way, Beavs, but going winless in conference with only one win against an FBS school isn’t exactly a good look in your new coach’s first year. At least you didn’t just get shut out at home by a team that’s ready to double as extras in a MASH reboot.
  1. Penn State – We pause to check in on Nittany Nation. James Franklin hasn’t been the instant savior that you expected, has he? 7-3 is hardly disaster territory – and yeah, we know what we said about going Nebraska on your head coach – but losses to the Michigan schools to close out the year with a 7-5 finish might just put you all on the Chaos Preseason Top 20 next August, mightn’t it?
  1. Virginia – Sure you couldn’t beat Miami on the field, but the real question is this, Hoos: can you beat the Canes to whichever coach you prefer for next year, whether that’s Justin Fuente (just kidding, he’s bound for far bigger things), Charlie Strong, DickRod, or whoever?
  1. Colorado – So, how ya feeling, Buffs fan? You’ve got the best receiver in the conference and a really talented quarterback who doesn’t seem to be developing. Is Mike MacIntyre really the guy to cure what ails you? He did have that one great year at San Jose State, y’know.
  1. Texas State – You lost to New Mexico State. At home. Remind us again why you thought it was a good idea to leave FCS.
  1. Kansas – 59-20 to the team that got blanked by Iowa State, and now the schedule gets harder? Nice! We really should leave you out of this for the rest of the year, but when you’re the ultimate in low-hanging fruit, it’s just hard to resist, Jayhawks. Never fear, TCU has absolutely no need for a statement game next week. No need whatsoever.
  1. Wyoming – In his first year, the high school coach has UNLV winning more than your FCS legend coach has y’all winning. It must be getting cold in Laramie already – we can see the steam rising from your ears from here.
  1. Tulane – You’ve beaten winless UCF and a three-win FCS team. Your last three games are tailor made for, at least, 2-1. Do you want to completely trash that beautiful new stadium or do you want to keep your coach? You only get to do one or the other.