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Can you hear the Chaos Clock ticking away, getting ready to brighten your college football weekend with more spectacular madness? Here’s where you’re most likely to feel the burn this weekend.

Ohio State @ Indiana – Oh Indiana, you incredible instigators of insignificance! Look at you, all undefeated and everything!!! We don’t even care that the best win any of your opponents has had was over…Vanderbilt? And now, a home game with your fifth cupcake of the season, a squad that’s totally confused about who to play at quarterback. Oh sure, the Bucks are a minor step up in class, but what could go wrong?

‘Bama @ Georgia – Dawgs don’t usually step on elephants, but there’s a reason the Tide are underdogs for the first time in forever. Of course, the Dawgs usually step on their own tails and trip when their big moment arrives. Call it crimson, or just call it red, either way, there will be blood between the hedges on Saturday, and somebody’s going to leave weeping into their playoff crying towel.

South Carolina @ Missouri – After playing with fire, Mizzou finally got burned this week. After burning for most of the last two seasons, SCAR put out a couple embers last Saturday, but their house is still on fire, and somebody is going to leave Columbia feeling extra torched. In fact, THE WHOLE FUTURE OF THE GAMECOCKS PROGRAM HINGES ON SATURDAY’S GAME!!! At least the Tigers won’t be dealing with a quarterback controversy this week. (Bonus points for the midweek chaos, fellas!)

The Ewe @ Cincinnati – It’s nice when the chaos starts early in the week, and lookee here, the ‘Canes are 3-0! ! Cincinnati just got run into the ground by Paxton Lynch. Finally, things are back on track in Coral Gables. Hell, maybe they could take down Felony State and then all bets are off. Just two problems: (1) they’re not going to beat the ‘Noles in ten days, and (2) this is as trap gamey as trap games get.

Arkansas @ Tennessee – Two very, very disappointed fanbases have the opportunity to drink their sorrows away together. Really, the loser of this game should jet immediately to Austin for a disappointmentoff.

UTSA @ UTEP – Coming into the season, both teams were on the up. Now, not so much. UTEP has those two barnburner wins against New Mexico State (great game, but c’mon, it’s NMSU) and Incarnate Word. That’s two more wins than the Roadrunners are sitting on. Here’s a crazy thought: the Miners have a real shot at getting to 6-2. UTSA, meanwhile, has a real shot of playing North Texas in a battle of 0-7 teams.


UCF @ Tulane – Not so long ago, Central Florida was THE SECOND BEST PROGRAM IN THE STATE!!! Also, Tulane kinda sorta mattered. Now, UCF is winless, and Tulane has a win only because they played an FCS school. In their other two games, the Green Matadors have waved at opponents scoring 102 points. Come to think of it, this game might be more about impending ineptitude, rather than impending chaos.