Select Page

You’d think that, for Week 11, we’d get a more interesting schedule than this. (For a point of reference, see last week.) Of course, we’ve reached that point in the year when THERE ARE GOING TO BE SO MANY UNDEFEATED AND ONE-LOSS TEAMS THAT THINGS ARE GOING TO BE A MESS!!!

In other words, we’ve reached that point in the season when inexplicable shit starts turning your expectations upside down. For example, here is a list of teams that absolutely positively will not lose this weekend: Clemson, Florida, Ohio State, Oklahoma State, Iowa. Betcha one or more of them lose this weekend. Enjoy the rollercoaster.

Alabama @ Mississippi State – Now that the Tide is once again God’s gift to football, you may feel free to conveniently overlook that home loss to an Ole Miss team with three L’s on their record. We wouldn’t advise doing that, particularly since the Tide looked vulnerable to a pretty good QB last week, and Dak Prescott is more than pretty good. A lot more.

Oklahoma @ Baylor – The battle to crown One True One-Loss Champion continues as the Big 12 continues to make the case for an eight-team playoff that includes the Power 5 champions, a Group of 5 team, and two wild cards. Fear not, Big 12, we’re betting the Pac-12 is the one that gets hosed this year, though a one-loss Notre Dame would pave the way for two conferences to get jammed.

Memphis @ Houston – Hot diggity, it’s Coaching Audition Survivor! Pat Haden and Blake James should host a post-game wine and caviar party with the winning coach signing a $5 million a year contract to coach U$C and the loser settling for $4 mil a year from The U.

Arkansas @ LSU – It’s this week’s Crazy Shit Special. What do you think wins the game? A no-look behind-the-back lateral from the holder to the placekicker on a fake field goal with the kicker then giving the ball back to the holder on a Statue of Liberty play?

Oregon @ Stanford – It’s the Pac-12 Game Of The Year!!! Okay, maybe not, but when’s the last time you saw Oregon listed as a 10-point dog? The Cards have been great all year, and Oregon’s a bit of a mess right now. There’s no reason to expect anything surprising from the Ducks. There never is.

USC @ Colorado – The Trojans have almost stepped on the banana peel so many times it’s scary. The Buffs have almost broken through so many times it’s scary. We couldn’t possibly see a Friday night harmonic convergence any more than, say, Iowa State could shut out Texas. Nope. It’ll never happen.

Virginia Tech @ Georgia Tech – It’s all about the bowl streak, and it would suck for Beamerball’s streak to end in his last season. On the other hand, it would suck for the Jackets to not even play in a bottom of the barrel bowl in a year that started with champagne wishes and championship dreams. While a loss doesn’t kill the streak, it comes damn close, so somebody’s going to feel a little extra ennui when this one’s done.

Pitt @ Duke –We’re as surprised as you are that this game has actual consequences. Well, it kinda sorta has consequences. It would mean a lot more if both teams hadn’t imploded against UNC. Second place in the ACC Coastal is some pretty serious stakes, right? (Okay, maybe not.)

Georgia @ Auburn – Is it just us, or is every Auburn game this year The Battle Of The Severely Disappointed? We could make this interesting by putting all the QB’s into a raffle and letting fate determine who starts for each team.

Kansas @ TCU – It’s our weekly Please Someone Score A Whole Hundred This Season game! Now Frogs, you’re hurt. You’re angry. You’re going to need to show the playoff committee your “game control” stripes, and what better way to do it than to hang a C Note on the worst team in FCS, er, FBS.

Texas @ West Virginia – Could someone please explain to us what West Virginia is doing in the “Big 12”? Could someone please explain to us why the Big 12 is called the Big 12? Could someone please explain to us how both of these programs have fallen so far so fast?

North Carolina State @ Florida State – How weird is it to think about NCSU actually having a chance in this game? It’s plenty weird, innit? Okay, then don’t waste your time. All the Pack’s wins are, in a word, crap.

Washington @ Arizona State – This might be the most interesting game in history involving teams on the verge of falling to 4-6. In theory, senior leadership at quarterback should make all the difference in the world, especially since the Devils are so dang talented they opened the season as the trendy P12 South pick. See the Dawgs D this year? Seen the maroon and gold in desert dweller’s faces when their team falls apart?

Fresno State @ Hawaii – Don’t watch for the football, just for the lovely b-rollish shots of Diamond Head, Waikiki and whatnot.